Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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