Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize