so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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