So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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