I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
