I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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