youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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