"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
