Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize