Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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