i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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