Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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