We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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