Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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