really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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