my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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