guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
