i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Someone came in the potted fern
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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