My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
