he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize