I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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