I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
