erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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