I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
