as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
