Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
