she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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