At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
