New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize