How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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