i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
