Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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