Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
