i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
