I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Found your dick twin last night
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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