It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize