you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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