Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
