Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
