you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
