Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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