Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
