I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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