It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I could fuck to npr.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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