we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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