walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
