Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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