forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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