There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
