she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
