She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
