Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
