my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
