Im at strip club and am horny
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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