Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
