Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
