No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
