I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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